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10 Things they don’t tell you about Motherhood

10 Things they don’t tell you about Motherhood

We have to start by saying that motherhood totally rocks, because it’s TRUE! As mothers we will give our lives to save our kids, it’s a kind of love that you really have to experience to understand why sometimes mothers could become lionesses protecting their young. An entire encyclopedia could be written by any mother about motherhood. However, most of the time you can’t raise a kid by reading a book, because being a parent is most of the time about intuition and knowing your child needs. Being a Mom is a role like any other,  it’s definitely very rewarding, although also requires a lot of commitment. Motherhood is a full time job, and still nobody pays for it or even give it the right credit?!?

Becoming a mother is not as easy as it seems, it’s not just about having an adorable baby in your arms, it’s also an insane roller-coaster of mixed feelings and emotions, crazy days, hilarious days, bad days, insane days, sleepless nights, doubts, regrets, blame, cuddles and kisses all the time, and love lots of love.

Sometimes motherhood could be a lonely place, because as mothers we blame ourselves for having some kind of feelings or thoughts and we think we are the worst mother in the world and that we are the only ones thinking or acting like this. Do you want to hear the breaking news?!? You are not alone, every mother as good as it looks (especially in social media, where people only post the bright moments) have been there. So here is a list of things that nobody tells you about being a parent, until you learn it yourself.

1.Everything will change

Motherhood will definitely change every women’s life and we are not just talking about the basics like your sleeping pattern or mastering the changing-diaper skill, but also and especially the way you feel and perceive the world, and how you will have to adapt and sometimes change your life to raise your child. At the beginning, it may look like the changes aren’t extremely satisfying, and you could actually feel overwhelmed by them, after all changes always need mental preparation (Thank God we have 9 months for that), especially during the first few days after bringing your baby back home. A lot of people end up feeling that they have ruined their lives, but the truth is this feeling is only temporarily. Despite having to sacrifice a lot, in return you get the indescribable feeling that you’ve never experienced before.

2. There is no script to motherhood

There is no certain schedule or script to motherhood. More importantly, each motherhood is different. Some women feel more and more love towards their child every day, some women struggle with postpartum depression or anxiety. We believe that most moms know what we are writing about here. Your life and body are turned upside down and surely there will be something that doesn’t work out perfectly. However, during every struggle or a bad day, please remember, you are not ALONE. Don’t hesitate to reach out to your girlfriends, sisters, mom or aunties. They’ve also been there before.

3. Your priorities will be different

Becoming a Mother means a LOT of things. As some wise people have probably told you, your priorities will change and your productivity will improve. You may think how on Earth is this even possible, as you may already consider yourself as an extremely productive person. Let us tell you, how impressive it is what women, especially a mother, can do in a day, you just have to experience it in order to believe it! Before becoming a mother we already think our schedule is too busy, because it is, but you should see your schedule when you become a mother – it’s like seeing the old schedule times three! Your days will start to be organised around your children’s daily activities and needs. So forget about doing your manicure every three weeks and your weekly full body massage. This will be replaced or delayed in the beginning with other meaningful activities and time with your baby, which will also feel very rewarding, even though it may not sound like it right now. Our tip here is to be extremely organised and be mentally ready to change your plans last minute and be OK with it, because it will happen and is totally normal.

4. You will become a better person

Believe it or not, but motherhood will make you a better person. For the first time, you will realise how it is to love someone so much, that it hurts. You will also realise what does it truly mean to put yourself second. You will catch yourself spending a lot of time staring at your kid playing or sleeping, because it will bring you an enormous joy. You will become more patient (most of the time), more tolerant towards others behaviour and you will not give as much importance to some things that you use to do.

5. Feeling the pressure. 

The kind of pressure you experience, when becoming a mother also changes. The pressure to be a great mother will drive you to the edge of insanity. You want to do a great job and in most cases you are. However no matter how hard you try – you will still go to bed feeling that you failed in some way or another. Suddenly, you are expected to be and to do so many different things in a perfect way, sometimes forgetting that what works best for someone else, may not really work for you and your child.  The pressure that we put on ourselves is insane, a lot of times we think we are not doing enough, so don’t be hard on yourself, your are giving your best and the only thing your child really needs is your love. The problem is the wrong misconception in the society, which clearly draws on what it takes to be a great parent.

6. The criticism from the outside world. 

The world is full of critics. However, becoming a Mom also means entering a completely new world, a world of the unspoken mommy war, without even realising it. World full of judgments and other people pointing out every little thing , but on a completely different level. Whether you are a helicopter mom or a free range mom, sooner or later you will face the hard reality of people constantly telling you about doing things wrong. Be sure of one thing whatever you choose to do, you will always be judge by others,  therefore, there is no point to feel bad or frustrated, just do what you think is the best for your family.

7. Your circle of friends is likely to change 

Just like your priorities and your sleeping pattern, your circle of friends will also face some changes. And we are really sorry to inform you, but lots of your friends may simply disappear. It won’t happen immediately, but as the months go by, you will realise that especially your friends who are not moms, will seem to be more distant. It’s not because they stopped liking you over the night, but it’s because your busy schedule will be occupied around your little one and you may have less in common. But by all means don’t try to be everywhere, your baby is your priority now and your friends (the real ones) one day will be back, because they eventually also become parents or because your child is growing up and you have more time to catch up. FOMO here could be a “bitch”, but from our own experience the only thing you will lose (if you are not there) is seeing your baby growing (time really flies) the rest you will catch up on.

8. Marriage

Being a parent will cause conflict in even the strongest of marriages. We don’t want to be pessimistic here, we just want to alert you for this reality. But of course we all know a lot of people who went through being a parent and end up with even stronger marriage. It’s when you become a parent more then ever your realize how important it is to have similar values and education as your partner, because as much as there is an open communication and you think to have everything in place and how much you think that you are both on the same page on all things including parenting and how you see the world, you will clash. Honestly it’s one of the most unavoidable things possible, because you both were raised in different homes and no matter how your upbringing may have been similar, you will not see it eye to eye. However, you will also both see and be impressed by what the other partner will do for your kids, and that it’s priceless and will definitely elevate your relationship to a new level.

9. Balance

You will spend more time trying to find balance than you will actually enjoy moments. We have all been lead to believe there is a perfect balance. After all, we all see our friends’ social media profiles or someone else’s profile and we think that the perfect balance can be achieved. The truth is – there is no such thing as balance and there is certainly no such thing as a PERFECT balance, so stop comparing your life to others! We are all different and with different needs and no one post the worst and the hardest moments on social media, one perfect picture doesn’t represent your entire day. Your children constantly change, their needs change and your needs change, which means that the perfect schedule that worked last week simply will not work this week. Be aware and embrace this and your life will be significantly less stressful.

10. Self

Every day you will learn a new character flaw about yourself. You will discover all the things that you correct your children about are the character traits that you also possess. Children learn from the people who raise them – the good and the not so good, by observing their behaviour and reactions towards any kind of situation. It will also be your child that will call you out  on your behaviour and for the first time you will realise something you didn’t know about yourself. You teach them, but they will also teach you more than you could have ever imagined in so many levels.


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